Thursday, 9 June 2016

Will he save Her

BRRMM!! BRRMM!! One day a girl named Elizabeth went out fishing with her dad near a waterfall. They catched a big fish but then someone hit it but they couldn't see the person that hit the fish SLASH!!! Went the fish back into the water. They catched another fish and again someone hit the fish back into the water. Elizabeth said “Dad was that a ghost” the dad said “don’t be silly” so they drived home.

When they arrived home they watched TV. The news was on and everyone that went fishing someone hit the fish back into the water but no one can see it. Thers these detectives walked down  had this special goggles on to see what is doing that weird thing. One of the detectives spotted something he said “Wow that's is a huge thing wait and it's a GHOST!!! AHHHHHHH” Elizabeth said “dad that is a ghost” dad said “OMG that is a ghost”

Elizabeth and her dad went back to the fishing ground and the detectives were there. The dad tried on the special goggles and he saw the ghost he was scared. The sun was going down and they stayed at the fishing grounds. It was 9 o’clock and the beast ran and pushed them out to sea. They were heading to a waterfall. The detectives knew a superhero that will save them. The superhero name is the night gardien. They called the night guardian and he came he flew super fast to Elizabeth and her dad. He catched them while they were falling down the waterfall.

HOORAY!!!! “Thank you soo much night guardian” said Elizabeth “you're welcome” said the night guardian and that was the end.

Walt: write a narrative that is descriptive (paints a picture in the reader's mind

This is my made up story with my made up super hero saving a girl and her dad 
falling down a waterfall.


  1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  2. Nice job Charles! I really like that you used Onomatopoeia in your story. I would love to see you spend some more time editing before posting in the future.